Thursday, November 19, 2009

Holy moly--my surgery is going to be on Tuesday. OMG November 24th. That is literally right around the corner and I am now suddenly scared out of my mind. I go through PAC tomorrow and find out on Monday what time I go in on Tuesday morning.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Monday morning is here! Our weekend was good. Didn't do much, but yesterday November 15th, marked 3 years of Mikey's "Happy Hand Day". So hard to believe that 3 years ago he got his "new" hands. That surgery was the hardest one to put him through. I never thought that we would decide to operate o nhis hands, but he needed it. When he was learning to stand, the nubbins would catch on things {one instance required an ER vist, as he nearly ripped on off when it got stuck in a cupboard door}.

He was so cute post op though, with his little boxer hands! Gosh Mikey, you sure amaze Mommy!

I had my pre op done on Saturday morning and I am fit for surgery. My GP's faxed off the required form and I am hoping a date gets set this week. It will be so good to finally have a date! My doc also said that in light of the damage on my left side, it has now caused inflammation of my rotator cuff. I was prescribed anti-inflammatories {yippee for little yellow houses}, but to take them in combo with the T4's, makes for me tol feel yucky! I am grateful though, that I don't get sedated with them however.

I am hoping that this gets resolved soon {the inflammation} as it is making for work to become "hard to do". My typing gets messed up as my left arm/hand on occassion decides to "pass out" on me and I keep making mistakes. Really not a good thing to have happen-very frustrating!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

It's been a couple of days and I'm sorry for that. Things have been busy and in all honesty, I've been in terrible pain. I honestly feel like a 32-year-old living in the the body of a 90-year-old {one that is not full of "piss and vinegar" as my Gramma used to say!}. I don't know at times how I will be able to make it until January. My left side tends to seize up when it wants to. It usually begins in my left arm and hand. It becomes "fuzzy' feeling and very warm. Then it spreads to my left leg and my foot becomes so full of pins and needles that at times I am moved to tears.

It is very hard with work-being a medical assistant in front of the computer most times is a HUGE contributor to this. But I love my job. No matter how many times my GP tells me "oh how are you still working, especially full time?". I pretty much laugh at him each time. Sure I could "give up", but I can't. I love my job. He tells me I have my medical benefits and I know I am so gratefully lucky to have this, but I can not see myself taking that option. Not at this point anyways.

I would be very bored at home! I go crazy over stat holidays and summer/winter holidays! I miss the patients, I miss my docs, I miss work. I miss being OUTSIDE of my "Mom life". Plus, I am strong. I keep telling myself that. I went to school as a single mom of two little boys {Mikey was a year and Liam was 3}. THAT was hard. But I did it. I did it for THEM. I wanted them to be proud of me. I thought how it would be for them when they entered school and their friends would ask them "what does your mommy do". I didn't want them to say "my mommy can't work". I pushed through school. As much as I hated dropping them off at daycare every morning. I hated seeing their sad faces. They needed the other kids interaction and I really did want Mikey immursed in other kids to get "used" to THE questions that I knew we could not get around from.

I got off a bit on a tangent there. I appologize. I have been a bit emotional the past little bit. I strongly believe that with all that is going on in my body that it is throwing off my regular system. Blah. One day. Soon. I will be free of this pain. Of this nightmare. I keep getting told by everyone of the complications that could happen from this surgery. I am well aware that nothing is guaranteed. But I can not NOT try. I need to do this. I am too young to feel like this. I need to be able to enjoy playing with the boys {and stay up later than 7PM!}. Although I am also not looking forward to having an incision across the front of my neck {I really am not so secretly} hoping that the stenosis will be severe enough by OR time that he needs to convert to an incision on the back of my neck. In any case, it will all be worth it, right?

I also am such a dimwit and not sure if I mentioned that while I met with the Neurosurgeon I completely forgot to ask him about the mass in my supraclavicle. To be fair though, he was searching for my current scans {my GP's front end girls are really not on the ball} and then he got called to the ER. I am to meet with my GP this Saturday & I pray to God that he does not cancel that appointment, as he is famous for doing. If you could spare a few extra prayers for this too, I would greatly appreciate it!

Mikey was in the Saint City News November 6th, 2009 edition! He is on Page 14!!

And now, here are a couple of pictures for your enjoyment!!

Mikey chillin' in the bubbles {jaccuzi's and Lightning McQueen bubble bath need to be monitored!!}

And in this picture, you will see WHY I am the World's Proudest mom! This is a side-by-side picture of their school photos for 2009-2010. My word, they really are becoming big boys!

Hope you enojy the rest of your day & now I must get to work!
P.S. Does anyone else find the photo uploader here on Blogger is really a HUGE PITA {computer lingo for those that might be wondering!}?!!!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Sometimes I wonder. I wonder WTH this really is all for. I wonder what the point is. I wonder why even try. I wonder.

My daddy was told last week he has prostate cancer. Cancer.Cancer.Cancer. The friggin C word is every where. It is around every flippin' corner. Looming. Waiting.

Why I wonder. Is this "thing" the plague of our time. I've no doubt that that is true. I wonder though, I was never as aware of this damn disease until ironically I began working in Oncology. And it is THERE. It is HERE. It is everywhere and I hate it.hate it.hate it.hate it.hate it.